Separating Fact from Fiction: 5 Destructive Miscarriage Myths You Need to Know
In 7 rounds of IVF, I never once saw the happy little plus sign on a pregnancy test. Not once. It made it hard for me sometimes to really understand the pain that a friend would feel when she experienced a miscarriage. At least she got pregnant. But that isn’t fair. The journey toward parenthood is often not easy, is intensely personal and causes so much stress, uncertainty, self-doubt and real heartache.
Miscarriage is often shrouded in harmful myths, from believing it’s your fault to thinking it can always be prevented. The reality is that miscarriage affects around 1 in 5 pregnancies, with chromosomal abnormalities being a leading cause. Miscarriage is often nature’s way of saying this isn’t a healthy pregnancy.
In other words, we don’t want to prevent all miscarriages.
Sadly, women too often blame themselves, feel isolated, and experience shame when the reality is more common and more nuanced than most realize.
We don’t discuss miscarriage nearly enough—and when we do, misinformation only exacerbates the issue. It’s time to dispel the myths, clear up the confusion, and focus on the facts.
Here’s what you really need to know about miscarriage, what you should (and should not) believe, and how we can change the conversation around this profoundly difficult experience.
The Myth of It’s My Fault
Let’s tackle one of the most common myths head-on: the belief that miscarriage is somehow your fault.
Whether it’s because you lifted something heavy, had a glass of wine before you knew you were pregnant, or didn’t follow every prenatal guideline perfectly, many women internalize the blame when their pregnancy doesn’t go as planned.
The truth is that, in most cases, miscarriage is not a result of anything you did or didn’t do. For one, chromosomal abnormalities account for up to two-thirds of miscarriages in the first trimester.
And there is no evidence that lifestyle factors such as sex, saunas, vaccines, exercise or normal levels of stress cause miscarriages either.
The Myth that “It Only Happens to Me”
One of the most surprising facts about miscarriage is how common it is.
As many as 1 in 5 women experience a miscarriage in the first few weeks of pregnancy—though the actual number is probably higher since many occur before a woman realizes she’s pregnant.
Despite how common it is, miscarriage remains veiled in secrecy and the silence that surrounds it cuts women off from help.
But know this. If you’ve had a miscarriage, chances are that the women around you—your friends, coworkers, and perhaps family members—have had one too.
The Myth of You Can Prevent It
Another frankly dangerous myth is the idea that women can prevent miscarriage if they just follow the “right” steps. I used to get very annoyed that I was doing everything right and other women, including those who were clearly not following the rules of healthy living, were dropping healthy babies left and right. But it doesn’t work that way.
From cutting out caffeine to avoiding certain activities, it’s easy to fall into a trap where you believe that just doing X and Y will prevent a miscarriage.
And while living a healthy lifestyle is important at anystage of life, remember that the overwhelming majority of miscarriages occur because of genetics.
Focus on what you can control—like maintaining a healthy lifestyle and attending regular prenatal checkups—while also accepting that some things are simply beyond your influence.
The Myth of You Shouldnt Talk About It
There’s this unspoken rule in society that you shouldn’t talk about miscarriage, especially in the early stages of pregnancy.
Some women are even advised to wait until after the first trimester to announce their pregnancy, as if silence somehow protects against loss.
But staying silent can do more harm than good. For many women, miscarriage is a deeply traumatic experience, and the repression of feelings only leads to more isolation and distress.
Opening up about miscarriage—whether to a trusted friend, family member, or healthcare professional—can provide the support and comfort that’s so often needed.
Sharing your story can also help other women realize they’re not alone. The more we normalize conversations around miscarriage, the less women will feel like they need to carry this burden in silence.
The Myth of the Recurrent Miscarriage
Some also believe that if they’ve had one miscarriage, they’re more likely to experience another.
This is simply not the case. Around 5% of women experience at least two miscarriages, and, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, just 1% experience three or more miscarriages.
If you’re one of the extremely unfortunate few to find yourself in this situation, your doctor can run tests to understand why. And thanks to the wonders of modern reproductive medicine, an accurate diagnosis can be made in around 60% of cases.
There are ways to prevent some miscarriages, and these are the ones we want to tackle.
The Facts About Miscarriage
Miscarriage is a deeply personal and emotional experience, and everyone processes it in their own way. Regardless, the myths and misconceptions around miscarriage add unnecessary weight to an already heavy situation.
To counter this, we need to start fact-based conversations that support women and help them come to terms with any feelings of shame or guilt.
Miscarriage is common, often unavoidable, and rarely the result of anything a woman has done wrong.
The probability of multiple miscarriages is also extremely low, and while a low chance is not a zero chance, women should never let hearsay deter them from trying again.
References
https://www.yalemedicine.org/conditions/recurrent-pregnancy-loss
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/miscarriage/prevention/
https://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282(12)00701-7/fulltext
